June 06, 2020 11:00 AM | by Luci
Post #105: My Raw Mirrors (Part 1)
Hey everyone, so much happened after my last session to summarize into one post. So, I decided to break it up into two posts. As you may have read last time, the counselor asked me to summarize my perspective of the last session and for the next session bring in Faisal and a friend.
After that session I called up Faisal to give him a heads up that I'll need him to be with me in the next session.
Faisal: Sure, I think that can actually be healthy for us. Just tell me the date and time.
After that I had to pick a friend and I figured Dina was my best choice, since she's been the one who's been up to date with all that's been going on.
Dina: Of course I'll be there Luci. Just tell me when and where. Always got your back you know that.
Me: Thanks Dina, just please keep this between us and don't tell the rest of the girls. I haven't even told them I'm pregnant.
Dina: You don't even have to ask that, I understand.
After that phone call, I took out my journal and started to summarize the session, as per the counselor's request.
1 week later...
counselor: So Luci, ready for today?
Me: Yes, this is my husband Faisal and my best friend Dina.
They were on chairs sitting behind me so we can all fit in the screen.
counselor: Nice to meet you and thank you for being here today. Let's begin.
Me: I summarized the last session in my journal.
counselor: Great, can you read it to me?
Me: Well... we talked a lot about how I deal with confrontation. I paused feeling very aware right now that Dina and Faisal were sitting behind me just hearing me read my thoughts out loud...
counselor: Okay, Faisal and Dina, we need you both to be very patient with Luci and I. Understand that this is a long process and we are still in phase 1 of Luci's journey. We expect compassion and zero judgement... Luci please continue, this is a safe space right?
Luci: Yea, so we talked about blame... that I think a lot of it falls on Faisal, because I wasn't the person I am today before we met. I was a lot lighter and had a joy for life that I feel got taken away when we got married. Which is probably why I'm not happy about my pregnancy, because we're going to raise a child in an environment with no joy.
Um... we also talked about how I'm not one who really fights with my friends, because I don't like drama. I'm usually the one who mediates between friends, and you mentioned I might have been avoiding confrontation. But honestly while summarizing the last session I really disagree with you, I don't think I run away from conflict, especially that I've helped friends makeup, so that's addressing conflict.
counselor: Yea, that seems about right Luci, in terms of what went on in our previous session. Now...Dina and Faisal, do you agree with Luci's perspective?
I turned around to see the both of them staring at me in disbelief and shaking their heads.
Stay tuned for next week, Saturday at 11:00 AM (Cairo time), to read part 2.
If you enjoyed this post, don't miss out on reading the rest of Luci's story here>>