April 25, 2020 11:00 AM | by Luci
Post #100: We Need to Talk!
You know what they say, everyone hates those four annoying words, 'We need to talk.' But, I took Dina's advice and decided to call Faisal up and say those four words to him.
Faisal: Why what's wrong?
I wanted to scream literally, I mean we have been coexisting together, barely saying two words to each other during the day and when he finishes work, we watch some episodes and just sleep.
Deep breaths Luci, in, out, control your temper!
Me: A lot is wrong, so please don't make plans after work and just come straight home.
That didn't sound passive aggressive right?
Faisal got home, we sat down to eat and I just cut to the chase.
Me: Look Faisal, I'm not happy, and I doubt you have been either lately.
Faisal: No I've been fine actually, don't know why you would say that.
It took every fiber in me to keep myself contained and not go ape shit on him.
Me: Well, I'll speak for myself, I am not happy Faisal. I haven't been for sometime now. And, this whole pregnancy is not helping our relationship. We barely exsist together do you know what I mean?
Faisal: Mmmmmm, no not really.
Me: So you're happy with the way we are living. Barely talking to one another as the days go by, just eating quietly and watching an episode before we sleep, wake up and repeat?
Faisal: That's not all we do, c'mon Luci you're painting a really sad picture.
Me: IT IS OUR PICTURE FAISAL!
I couldn't help myself I just screamed at him, I mean is this man blind or just purposely not looking at our reality and living in a dream world?!
Faisal: No no no no, I'm not going to have one of those, you yelling at me fights and just walk away and ignore me for a week. Maybe that's why you're unhappy, because all you seem to do is go insane and ignore me for days.
Me: So you do have an idea of what I'm talking about?
Faisal: Luci, our fights have been like that since before we got married, I figured that's how you've been handling things and after you cool off, we're usually fine. I assumed this past week was yet another one of your phases.
Me: Excuse me? Phases?!
Faisal: Yes, you have phases where you do exactly that... and when you found out you were pregnant I assumed it was a hormone thing.
Me: You're calling me hormonal?!!
Faisal: Luci, how about we actually have a conversation for a change? You say you're unhappy, what's making you unhappy?
Me: Well... I just don't like our lifestyle, I feel like we're roommates not husband and wife living together and building a life. We barely talk, we used to do stuff together but not anymore and now with this whole COVID-19 issue and the quarantines it's not like we can do anything else anymore.
Faisal: Honestly Luci, all these things can be fixed between us if you fix your way? How can we talk if you constantly keep ignoring me. You think just because you yell and I leave you to cool off that means you didn't hurt my feelings. And, I wake up the next day willing to put it all behind us and move on and have a good day. But, I wake up to your attitude and you ignoring me yet again, what kind of life do you expect us to live if this is how you've been for almost a month now.
I went quiet, I had no idea what to say. Faisal was saying very similar things to what Dina said to me, how I overreact, and draw things out of proportion in my head. What the hell is up with me?
Stay tuned for my next post, Saturday at 11:00 AM (Cairo time) to see what the aftermath of my talk with Faisal was.
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