March 24, 2021 06:05 PM | by The Fustany Team
Online Dating Stories: Confessions of a Serial Dater!
Hello lovely ladies, we're starting a new juicy column on Fustany where we share with you true stories about dating, love, marriage, divorce and other interesting experiences. Let's get right to it then, with our first topic "ONLINE DATING" where we will take both women and men's perspectives on online dating from our team, friends, and even your real life stories. We'll tackle experiences with first times, ghosting, matching with a friend of a friend and many more. Are you as excited as we are? Follow us for new stories and if you want to share your own for an anonymous feature, send it to our Instagram DM @Fustany.
Who am I, you ask? This time they're telling my story. A man in my late mid thirties, I can't say I'm too handsome, more on the average side, but there's nothing average about my charm. I'm usually quite confident around women, and never had a problem winning over a girl except my kindergarten crush. Have I had anyone win me over before? I can't really say for sure that anyone ever has. I've been living most of my life abroad, and decided I'd like to come back to meet someone and settle down. And this is where online dating came in... Maybe, I'll find someone who'd interest me for more than a couple of months.
I downloaded one of the popular dating apps and started swiping. Since I see myself as someone who doesn't really judge people based on looks or clothes, I always thought that as long as the person seems nice I'll swipe right. Next thing I know, I'm matching with girls left and right and going on dates multiple times a week.
I bet you can imagine how exhausting this all is (not that it stopped me from doing the same things over and over), and most ladies I met weren't really my style. I'd think they are at the beginning, show them how enthusiastic I am, then soon after I'd realize that click is missing, and end it as quickly as I started it. Not a very fun thing to do actually but I had to, I think. I ended up with a huge hate list.
From the woman who was too excited to have been matched with a guy living abroad with a foreign passport (yet the same nationality), to the one who's super excited about the idea of marriage, then there was the complete opposite who didn't even care for a relationship but wanted to have fun for a day, which I didn't mind of course, but we were looking for different things.
With the amount of dates I've been on, I'd quite often update my friends on it all. Three of them to be specific, two of which were a married couple (let's call them Dalia and Samer), but a super boring one, and another female single friend of mine (who is not very relevant to that story). I think they fed off of my drama and stories. Anywho, so I finally met a girl online who was different, but didn't want to share much about herself. The more I kept pushing for her to open up, the more she'd tell me that she knew my type and that she doesn't want to rush into anything and would much rather take her sweet time. This in turn of course made me even more curious about her. Let's call her Laila. Laila and I went on a lot of dates and got closer over the next 4-5 months, and soon enough I found myself not interested to date anyone else, even though she kept on insisting we weren't exclusive.
Eventually she told me a lot about her past, her family and worries. She told me about her first heartbreak and disappointments from her friends. How every failed relationship made her grow distant with people and put a mask on to protect herself from getting too close. God, did she have some troubling stories!
I've never had someone in my life who felt like both a friend and someone I can potentially fall for. Even with my friends, it was always challenging to keep myself interested in them for long periods of time. That was easy because I always had to travel for work, and hence didn't have to commit to any group for too long.
During the same time, I started spending more time with the trio group of friends, I told you about earlier, especially the couple, but each on their own. Samer would tell me about the other women he's seeing, and how amazed he was by the amount of dates I can go on, and also how much he fancies the girl I've been dating now for a while (Laila). Dalia, on the other hand, would tell me how she thinks her marriage was falling apart, and that she thinks her husband is cheating. I couldn't confirm that of course, because I didn't want to get him in trouble.
A couple of more months went by, and I thought it was time to have the girl I like now very much, Laila, meet my mother and brother. They loved her and got excited that finally during my thirty something years introduced them to someone. I even saw it in my mum's eyes that she was planning our future together, which of course scared the hell out of me. I started becoming distant, and I started activating dating apps again, went on a couple of dates, up until Laila found out I was on there again through a friend of hers, and decided to stop speaking to me. I never felt so upset by hurting someone, and kept on asking for her forgiveness for a few good weeks, up until she decided to give it one last shot.
I was beyond happy she let it go and came part of my life again. However and even though I enjoyed Laila's company, soon afterwards I started feeling deep down that she wasn't 'The One' for me. I refused however to let her go. I kept on thinking to myself, there must be someone more suitable for me out there, and little did I know...
Things between me and her kept on going from hot to cold, but something quite surprising happened one day. I unintentionally, or intentionally maybe, slipped and told my best friend Dalia, yes the one who was married, about her cheating husband Samer, and gave her all the proof she needed. She soon afterwards got a divorce, and we started becoming closer and closer. I kept seeing both Dalia and Laila for a while, up until Laila felt there was something off and she needed to urgently speak to me.
I took her to a calm restaurant with very little people, just in case she felt like she needed to cause a scene. We all hate those, don't we? I pretended like I didn't even understand what she was talking about at first. She told me that I was being unfair and selfish pushing her into thinking that I felt more towards her than I did. She kept on asking why, why I would do that, or what was causing that to begin with? To that, I very calmly replied: "I can't tell you." - and that was the last time I saw her.
A few months later, I married Dalia, and we've been together now for a year or so. I can't say I'm completely happy, but things are okay for now. You know what sucks though? I still can't stop using dating apps. In the back of my head, I'm still thinking, there must be someone out there, who's going to get me much better than Dalia and Laila.
L.O.V.E, a four letter word with so much more behind it! Explore it all in our Love & Relationships section here.