September 21, 2016 12:00 AM | by The Fustany Team
How to Get Back Up On Your Feet After a Divorce
Divorce, it's very heavy word on the human soul, because what’s more devastating than losing a partner. Even if that partner was not good for you, even if things went terribly wrong, a person has to deal with a moment of regret and disappointment. Both men and women go through a really tough time after divorce, but for women things can be a little bit more emotional! So, let’s see if we can list down some things that can help you get back up again on your feet after a divorce.
1. Take your time to feel sad and unhappy after the divorce:
“Don’t cry” is a sentence that is commonly used by people surrounding a mourning person, and it’s completely wrong to say it! If you’re sad then be sad, if you want to cry then cry your heart out. Suppressing your feelings will only make things worse later. But listen to us; don’t let your unhappy feelings last more than six months, for life is too short to waste it on being sad. The aim is to let go, and move on to a new chapter.
2. While you mourn your divorce, write down a list of your hopes and dreams:
While you’re feeling sad, take the time to sit down and write down a paper of the things you wish to do, write down your goals, hopes and dreams. The aim of this exercise is to make you focus on things other than your loss. But take care, don’t look at the paper and say “I lost so much time, or I can never do this now”. Look at it with a positive mind set; look at them as your next chapter.
3. Write down your blessings:
In time of pain, it’s hard to see the good in anything around us. However, you need to remember the things you are grateful for! Grab a piece a paper and fill it every day with the things you feel blessed to have. It’s very important to appreciate the good things we have in our life and feel at peace.
4. Don’t waste your time and energy on negative feelings after divorce:
Are you thinking about revenge? Congratulations, you’re about to lose more time focusing on the past. Instead, think about what’s next? How can you seize the opportunity of being single again? How can you re-invent yourself and your life? Focus on yourself and your loved ones. And the most important advice, if you have kids, don’t talk bad about their father in front of them, you’re not hurting him by making his kids like him less; you’re hurting your kids by making them feel confused and insecure. You’ll be raising monsters.
5. Seek professional help as soon as you get divorced:
Going through major events in your life always calls for a professional help. Seek a psychologist to help you get through this emotional phase in your life. There’s nothing wrong with getting the help you need, in order to start living your life again.
6. Don’t start looking for the next guy after divorce unless you’re really ready:
Don’t start looking for rebounds, you’ll only end up more confused and disappointed! We’re human; we need time to heal from physical and spiritual wounds. So, thinking that three months later you can fully function as a normal spouse for another man is a mistake. As women, we tend to think a lot and analyze a lot, so you’ll only be adding new relationship drama to your life, when you’re not even over the old relationship drama. Let love find you and seek you in the right time, you can do it on your own, you can be your own hero!
L.O.V.E, a four letter word with so much more behind it. Explore it all in our Love & Relationships section.
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