January 08, 2020 02:49 PM | by The Fustany Team
10 Things to Help You Fall in Love Again After 7 Years of Marriage
Ever heard of the 7-year itch? It's basically a common psychological term that explains the possible decline of happiness after 7 years of marriage. Of course it's not realistic or fair to generalize relationships in any way, however, some studies showed that divorce rates after 7 years get higher. The truth is it doesn't have to be after 7 years exactly, it's just that stage in a relationship when you've been married for a while so you start to get bored, missing the spiciness, sexiness and the appeal of being in something new and fresh.
So how to fall back in love after 7 years of marriage? Effort. You need to put in the effort to spice up your marriage and fall in love again with each other.
So let's talk about some possible solutions for the 7-year itch and how to fall in love again with your partner....
1. Don't Panic
We know that your first instinct will be to panic over the fact that you're bored and that you barely have sex anymore. However, you should know that it's normal for a lot of married couples to go through this and it doesn't mean that your marriage is going to be over or that you won't be happy in it for the rest of your life. In comes what you can actually do about it...
A lot of people underestimate the power of a good sex life with your husband or wife. Sex is not just something you get to do cause your married, want children or you're bored. It's literally a physical form of expression of love and lust towards your partner. If it dies...those things die a long with it.
3. How to make things sexy again?
It can be hard at first but you both need to put in the effort to seduce and excite your partner. Start with the things you used to do in the beginning, like flirting, sexting or teasing each other under the dinner table. Pull out your sexy lingerie again and surprise him. Walk in the door and tell her you want her right now.
Make it spontaneous, exciting and young not planned, routine-like and boring. Explore each other's bodies again, you've changed. And of course don't forget about trying sex games, role play and trying different sex positions.
4. Move Out
If you've been living in the same house for 7 years with the same routine and barely any changes, maybe you really need one. If you're capable, why not move house? Sell your place and buy a new one that you can design and decorate together. It can help excite you both for a new step and change in the relationship. Basically change the setting you're in.
5. Relive the Past
Now let's talk about falling in love again. Go back to how everything started. Talk about when you first met? What attracted you about the other person? What was going on in your head? What excited you about them? When did you realize you were in love? How did you tell each other? How about your first kiss? Re-enact it and relive it. How about the first time you were intimate together or had sex? Talking about all these things together will remind you of what it was like in the beginning and why you chose to spend the rest of your life with this person.
6. Date night! Date night! Date night!
We can't stress this enough and we know it's been said a million times but date nights are absolutely essential. If you have kids, it's the time you get to take a break and be alone. It's a change of setting, you get to dress up and actually talk to each other.
Talk about things other than work and what happened in your day. Talk about what you love, your favorite music or films, just like when you started dating. You will be surprised by how much you've forgotten to update each other on these things after all these years.
If you've already been doing this and it hasn't been working, try to re-enact your first dates. You can even go to the same place. Or you can play the strangers game! Pretend you just met, a lot of couples love it. It's exiting, sexy and can actually be very romantic.
7. Forget that you're even married....
Why not pretend you're not even married and start dating again? Basically start over. Put yourselves in the mindset and that you're both getting to know each other. It's actually good if it gets awkward, laugh it off! Discover each other again, with the perks of actually getting to go home together or you can not go home together, which brings us to the next tip...
Distance can be good for couples because after living together for so many years, you start to miss each other less. So maybe staying a few days apart or 'dating' again will help you miss each other more and make your marriage more exciting and fresh.
9. Travel to where your honeymoon was...
Go back to your honeymoon, literally. If you can even stay in the same hotel do that as well. All these things will just help remind you of the special moments and love you both feel and felt intensely for each other.
A lot of people are scared and put off by the idea of marriage counseling. However, just like therapy it can be groundbreaking and life changing. Talk about your problems and try to let everything out, so you can start fresh and maybe even begin by practicing tip #7.
To wrap things up, it's very important to remember that relationships change and so does your love for each other. After a lot of years of marriage you develop a new kind of love, one that pushes you to grow old together. It may not be as exciting or as passionate as before, but it's also inevitable, unconditional and very powerful. However, boredom can hit you and this is when you can start doing some things we mentioned above to fall back in love.
Main Image Credits: Instagram @alexandrapereira
L.O.V.E, a four letter word with so much more behind it. Explore it all in our Love & Relationships section.