September 08, 2013 12:00 AM | by The Fustany Team
Having Sex for the Very First Time
Is your wedding coming up, and you're about to experience having sex for the very first time? Are you ready to start together the first day of your married life, and have sex for the very first time? A lot of women don’t know what to do or they have too much expectations, even thinking they know what to expect, but end up getting a shock because they didn't have proper information about having sex for the very first time.
Well, we’ll try to keep it simple for you, and we'll walk you through important tips and information that you need to know before having sex for the first time.
1. The first and most important thing you should do before having sex for the very first time is to RELAX! Take a hot shower and use some scented shower gel, drink some tea or anything that will make you calm down. You don’t need to do it on the wedding night just because you should or because it's a tradition, absolutely not! In fact, weddings are usually very tiring, leaving you both exhausted and out of energy. You shouldn't do it unless you both feel like you’re ready emotionally and physically.
2. If you can’t decide whether to have sex on the first day, just relax and let things move naturally. Watch something (TV or a movie) together, hug, cuddle and talk a bit, you’ll definitely find out whether you’re going to take things further or you’re not in the mood. You have to know that there is nothing wrong with postponing sex for the very first time if you don’t feel like it or if you’re feeling tired.
3. Once you actually decide to do have sex, don’t expect it to be perfect and mind-blowing amazing. Remember this is you having sex for the very first time, and you’ll probably both be nervous and a bit confused. The key for it to be a successful experience is to communicate and be honest about how you feel. Also as much as you need him to be sensitive and understanding, you also need to assure him and calm him down. He most probably will be nervous and feeling pressured.
4. Remember that there are some things you might need while having sex for the very first time such as tissues, condoms (if you’ll be using them), lubricant, maybe a hair band. It’s also a good idea to leave a shirt or robe next to you so that you won’t feel too self conscious or shy when you get up.
5. Before having sex for the very first time, talk about the things that turn you on, if something hurts, SAY IT! Be patient and ask your partner to be patient with you too. Touch, kiss and engage in various sexual activities to excite each other before attempting penetration. That way you’d be more “in the mood” and your body would be reacting properly and lubricating itself in preparation for the next step.
6. It’s a good idea to keep lubricants on hand, as you’ll most probably need it. Make sure that it’s a good brand to use, preferably water-based, the more slippery the better. Remember to keep applying it as you progress if needed.
7. Lots of women worry about if they’ll feel pain during sex for the very first time, how painful, for how long, etc. Well, that varies totally from one woman to another. Some women don’t feel pain at all, others feel it like a prick of a needle, and others find it quite painful. But there are ways to lessen the probability of feeling pain. First of which, is to stay relaxed. The more relaxed you are, the less tense your muscles will be, and the less pain you might feel. Go slow, rushing things to get it over with is never a good idea. Chose a suitable position, preferably the cowboy position, where the girl is on top. That way you get to control the depth and speed of the penetration. If you go for the missionary position, you are both lying down with the guy on top, make sure to let him know what you need and if it’s painful.
8. Sometimes the vaginal opening is too small, and cannot be penetrated with the male organ right away. In that case, use a finger or two to stretch it a bit and then try again. The most important thing about having sex for the very first time is to communicate and be honest, speak your mind and don’t be shy. Don’t rush it, go slow, and relax your vaginal muscles. If it’s too painful, there is nothing wrong if you stop and just cuddle, then try again later.
9. Bleeding! There are so many wrong ideas about bleeding when having sex for the first time. First of which is that you HAVE TO bleed a bit; otherwise you’re not a virgin. WRONG! Some women bleed a few drops the first time only, others bleed the first two or three times, and some don’t bleed at all. Sometimes it’s only the next day that a few drops appear, which is why it’s a good idea to carry some daily pads with you for a few days after. It differs from one woman to another and mainly depends on the nervousness of the woman and the hastiness of her partner.
10. Keep in mind that men reach orgasm faster than women, and it’s actually hard for women to reach it through intercourse alone. In fact, the first time you have sex, you might not reach it at all. This is perfectly normal and it doesn’t mean that you or your husband did something wrong. The most important thing is that you enjoy it, explore the sensation of being with the man you love, and do so with the least discomfort and pain.
Experiencing sex for the very first time might leave you with a variety of emotions such as happiness, excitement, confusion and maybe a mix of them all. Tell your man what you need and find out what he needs too. Be it a cuddle, a talk, or even to be left alone, just give yourself what you need and provide it for your partner too.
Try to follow this and remember, when it comes to sex, practice makes perfect.
L.O.V.E, a four letter word with so much more behind it! Explore it all in our Love & Relationships section here.