September 16, 2020 01:31 PM | by Farida Abdel Malek
What's the Best Age to Get Married? Pros and Cons of the 20s vs 30s
Let's just start off by saying, there is never a rule when it comes to relationships and marriage. There has always been exceptions to the rules and norms. Every couple, relationship, marriage, engagement and family is different. So what worked for one couple, might not work for the other. However, these points on the best age to get married are based on some common factors, theories, stats and perceptions of age that might have an influence on marriage successes. But, we all know love and relationships are never easy no matter when or how they happen, just remember that at the end of the day, it's important to do what feels right in your gut and heart.
What's the best age to get married?
Statistics say that the ideal age is between ages 28-32. According to numbers and research done on the likelihood of divorce, with ages below 28 separation and divorce are more likely and so is after 32.
Pros of getting married in your 20s
1. You’re a lot more flexible and adaptable to changes and compromise. You’re willing to change and risk a few things to work on the relationship or for your partner.
2. You have a lot of time to think about having kids. There’s no rush to have them right away and you can take time with each other first before thinking about getting pregnant.
3. You still have the patience and space to grow, adapt and change together.
4. If you want, you can have more kids and you’ll be young parents with less of an age gap between you and your kids.
5. You kind of grow up together as friends and experience a lot of the same things together.
6. More energy and time for sex? A good sex life is important for a happy marriage. (Although your sex life can be just as good or even better in your 30s as well.)
7. The younger you are the easier is it to get pregnant.
8. There’s less baggage, breakups and relationships from the past, which can be a good thing and a bad thing. These previous experiences can sometimes affect the current one though.
Cons of getting married in your 20s
1. Many believe that wisdom and maturity come with age, which we all know is essential when it comes to a marriage.
2. Emotional maturity might not be at it's best. In our 20s we're still confused and working on resolving our insecurities that unfortunately do interfere with our relationships.
3. The 20s for a lot of people are a confusing stage in life. It's where you still feel like you're discovering yourself, who you are and what you want.
4. We change a lot and rapidly in our 20s and sometimes that change does not go in line with our relationship and so things can get hard.
5. Sometimes early marriages can be difficult because you might come to realize that you still want to experience a lot of things and live more freely before a commitment and setting down.
6. Things might not yet be too financially stable.
Pros of getting married in your 30s
1. You're a lot more mature and experienced.
2. You have a stronger sense of who you are.
3. You might know exactly what you want and what you don't want in life and in a partner.
4. A lot of people in their 30s develop confidence and a lot of self love, which is why they say your 30s are your prime years.
5. You've lived, done a lot of things and so committing to someone else might not be as scary.
6. You’ve grown to handle responsibilities more.
7. In your 30s, you might have had more time to save and be more financially secure.
Cons of getting married in your 30s
1. Getting married in your late 30s might be an issue if you’ve become too comfortable with your life and routine and so it’s hard for you to start adapting to someone else’s.
2. Unfortunately the older we get the faster we need to start thinking about whether we want kids or not.
3. Fertility starts to decrease at around ages 37. So, you both might not have as much time as you’d like alone together before having kids. That’s if you want kids of course.
4. Some say that love is more comfortable and secure later on in life, with less of the crazy wild passion and excitement that happens when you’re younger. (However, that’s very vague, relative and there have been many ‘30s and above’ relationships and marriages that have had just as much passion and excitement as any other age.)
5. Despite it being a great age, it’s also a busy age. So your routine, responsibilities and career might affect the amount of time you have together.
Note: Again we don't all mature at the same pace or have the same type of relationships, so what you experienced in your 20s, others might later on experience in their 30s. In the end it’s about how much you’ve matured, emotionally as well, and experienced and the nature of your relationship as a couple. Relationships and marriage are always a completely new learning experience, no matter how much you think you know.
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