February 05, 2020 04:42 PM | by Jennifer Barreto-Leyva
40 and Single... Now What?
Life for women can be really hard. Since birth we are lead, pushed, sometimes forced to follow certain paths, ways, and dynamics because "it's what society says".
When we're teenagers, the pressure is to be popular and beautiful, but a specific kind of beauty. As adults, it comes in both the professional success and the personal sides too. Society says we must be gorgeous, successful, strong but not too strong, leaders but not bossy females and also, on an evil duet with our biological clocks, the entire world says in our 40's we must be married with kids. Easy, right?
Well... not that easy.
The world has become a very complicated and competitive platform where we struggle to find our own space, at the same time trying to find the perfect man, settling when it comes to our finances, and at the end of the day we become a little disaster trying to be a balancing act.
"The older you get, the wiser you will be," a sentence my mother repeated to me several times in my teenager years, and now I'm starting to get the picture.
You don't settle with the first thing that crosses your path, you keep improving and looking for the best.
Years go by, and you start to notice your friends are getting married, having kids, while you... well, you remain single and fabulous and very sad inside, even though you don't recognize it, wanting to have that beautiful perfect love and life story you think your friends are having.
In my personal search for answers and hopes, I have found out the best thing ever happened to me is to be 40 and single, believe it or not. At least 70% of my friends are divorced, getting divorced, or their partners are being unfaithful to them in the lowest ways, like being on Tinder for instance. The rush to be married, achieve society standards, the never ending competition, all summed up bringing them to this point.
Having a family is a difficult, yet a really beautiful goal to achieve for many of us, me included. But I have learned during my amazing and well lived 40 years, that it's not about how much you lived, it's about how you live it, the kind of people you get surrounded with, it is the value of the years, experiences and people. For that, it is necessary you take the time to hit and miss, learn, be hurt and get healed, get mature and become wiser.
Invest time in yourself, take the time to travel, surround yourself with wise people. Enjoy life! Don't look for others' approval; go after knowledge not popularity or success to brag to others, that will give you a very different vision of this situation.
I'm telling you being 40 and single is the best thing ever! I'm young, fabulous yet mature enough to pursue exactly what I want and deserve and not let something I don't deserve steal my energy and love.
What is meant for you, will find you. Meanwhile... live!
Main Image Credits: Sex and the City
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